First off let me say I’m about as politically in tune as Kim Jung Un but with that said I’ve got some thoughts on this debate.
To start they call the candidates up on the stage and make them stand in a line like they’re about to play a heavy duty round of heads down, thumbs up. Then there’s three moderators sitting at a table staring at the stage.
I half expected Simon Cowell to come out, say something mean and one candidate to run off the stage crying. I mean honestly is this American Idol Season 50?The debate began with Trump declaring he would still run if he didn’t get the nomination….in case you missed it the first time they clarified it 3 other times, he then went on to say he didn’t have time for political correctness which was great for me considering I wouldn’t have a writing career without political incorrectness. On a serious note, the government forcing you to be politically correct is the first step towards full censorship.
Ben Carson came out strong by letting us know he has a brain….which was a great political strategy since it’d be difficult to choose an addition to the White House without one…ahem, bowling alley. He came back strong with his, “I was wondering if I’d get to talk again,” comment. Homie come to dinner at my house, I have 2 Jewish-Italian sisters, I feel your pain.
Marco Rubio really played to the 20-something voter by talking about living paycheck to paycheck, student loans and not playing a resume game. Ayo Marco holla atcha gurl I’ve got some ideas on that resume game idea for the job market.
My jersey homeboy Chris Christie was rocking his lime green livestrong bracelet and his answer on terrorism. He made NeNe Leakes proud with the serious shade he threw at Rand Paul and let’s be honest, this is America and the Real Housewives are the real influencers here. Also did anyone pick up on the moment when Christie said Bush appointed him as United States Attorney for New Jersey right in front of brother Bush? Talk about accaawkward.
Rand Paul won my heart with his declaration against funding ISIS and its allies, but if I’m being honest half my vote is based on who’s gonna look best on our money (sigh, Paul Ryan) and as sympathetic to my fellow Jew fros out there, he’s gotta get a new hair stylist between now and November 2016. (P.S. I know he isn’t Jewish…but it was a lot funnier than “my fellow white American with curly hair,” wasn’t it?)
Bush let us all know that as long as you commit a crime in the name of love it’s kosher. Too bad he wasn’t around when Ted Bundy was on trial.
Whether the debate is your Super Bowl or you just watched the debate so that tomorrow when your boss asked if you watched you don’t ruin your shot at a promotion, it was time well spent….I mean, did you see the commercial for the new Tom Hanks movie? I think you know where I’ll be October 16th.