I’ve been sent by more than a few of my friends a recent job posting from Netflix. I am simultaneously flattered that my friends are so confident in my abilities and depressed that they know the only thing I’ve done since graduation is binge-watch Netflix series. People say to be fully prepared for life you need to have a series of experiences but I say to be fully prepared for life all you need to do is some Netflix binge-watching.
A lesson in dedication. Running a marathon, becoming a billionaire, learning Chinese, sure they all take dedication but have you ever tried to finish the entire series of Gossip Girl? That’s 122 episodes at 45 minutes each totalling 5,445 minutes or 91 hours worth of teenage drama to watch. You haven’t known true dedication until you’ve seen every episode of a series within a week. I’m pretty sure Yoda was referring to Netflix binge-watching when he said, “do or do not, there is no try.”
A lesson in disappointment. Is there any disappointment greater than looking forward to a nice evening watching When Harry Met Sally just to find out it’s currently unavailable to stream but Netflix does have Love Actually? Is recommending some above-average christmas movie supposed to make me feel better? IT’S JULY. Then you retype it into the search bar as if Netflix is gonna be like “just kidding found it!” Then you search something else, nope not that either. So you sit there scrolling through titles that just get worse and worse until you give up and settle on middle-aged women fighting over some insignificant issue.
A lesson in helping others. It can be tough to choose how to be charitable; tutoring at-risk youth, cleaning up a park, helping out at a soup kitchen. Thankfully Netflix has given us one of the easiest ways to get in touch with your inner humanitarian: Rating what you watch. Do you want someone to suffer the same fate as you and waste 2 hours of their life watching Beverly Hills Chihuahua? No, the answer is no. With one click of your mouse you’ve saved someone from wasting precious time that could have been spent on more productive things…like planning their hypothetical wedding to their fictional husband on Pinterest.
The moral of the story is, why go out and experience life when you can still become a well rounded person from the comfort of your own bed?