It’s that time of year again everyone, the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is upon us. If I had a dollar for every girl who tweeted “officially starting my diet and going to the gym tomorrow #VSFashionShow” I’d be as rich as the woman who owns Grumpy Cat. Let’s face it, we all thought it last night and we all got pizza for lunch at work today.
Everyone made a big deal about that pee-wee Ariana Grande getting hit in the head by a tall, Victoria’s Secret model and I’m not sure why. Getting accidentally hit in the face by tall people sounds like a typical night at the bar for us 5-footers…or a ride on the subway…or really anywhere that we’re forced to be around tall people. The show opened up with a flood of gold wings and puffy sleeves, which I loved. I now know what a lingerie line would look like if Goldmember and Foxy Cleopatra went into business together. VS really shattered the stereotypical idea of what a “Dream Girl” is by featuring Taylor Swift in that segment, finally the world knows what guys really want. Sure, there’s tall, tone and beautiful Victoria’s Secret models but who wants that when you can have a girl who will not only throw your phone in the pool after creeping on your texts but also eats in bed with her cat and performs voodoo with an apple. Easy decision. Overall the show held up to the hype, they debuted the first ever Mario Kart Rainbow Road runway, showed off the most impractical lingerie and reminded SPMs all over the country that you may be tall and beautiful but Europeans will always be taller and beautifuler. Don’t feel so bad, at least we have Big Gulps and the Starbucks Trenta to soak our sorrows.