Being tiny can have some serious perks like being able to buy kids shoes, awesome hide and seek hiding spots and most importantly, always getting to be the top of the human pyramid. But like all good things there’s some problems that go along with being so incredibly blessed. The biggest struggle of all?
The subway. If you’ve never been seriously concerned you weren’t going to be tall enough to ride a roller coaster you aren’t short.You get hit in the face with people’s bags and hair. Oh you’re sorry and omg you totally didn’t even see me there? Really? Come on, I’m 5 foot not an ant.
You can’t reach the overhead bar to hold onto. Sometimes you’ll find yourself on the subway and realize the metal pole is already full and while everyone else around you casually grabs the overhead bar you’re stuck there panicking that the train will jerk and you’ll be forced to grab onto the stranger next to you.
NO FRESH AIR. I know what you’re thinking, “subway air isn’t fresh.” You are in fact correct my ever-so-smart friend, now imagine being forced to breath only the air that can squeeze in-between the bodies of 100 people crammed onto one car.
Your face ends up in awkward places. Unfortunately, it’s usually someone’s armpit and for those of you who think BO is a myth like the Bermuda Triangle ask anyone who’s under 5’2” and they can verify it is very much real. You’re paying 2 grand in rent but can’t afford a $1.99 deodorant? PRIORITIES PEOPLE!
Be courteous to your fellow pipsqueaks and remember what Dr. Seuss taught us, “A person’s a person no matter how small.”
And to all the shorties that brave the outside world, we salute you.