Hallmark has made some pretty bad cards over the years, there’s nothing worse than trying to get your Dad a card for his birthday and having to choose between a girl in a bathing suit or a card so sappy even Lifetime would feel awkward. But, the worst holiday of them all is Valentine’s day because Hallmark clearly drank entire bottles of wine and put Adele on repeat when they made them.
This year is the worst though because this year you can order cards with YOUR PICTURE ON THEM. I mean really? There’s no better way to make your boyfriend run for the hills then give him a card that looks like an engagement notice. The other problem? They’re not made for the modern times, want to really get in touch with someone’s emotional side? Give them something that really hits home. Which is why I came up with a few of my own.For the significant other that’s more significant than Instagram:
For that special person you met on Tinder (just admit it, we all do it):
For the person who has broken such a sacred bond:
For the person in your life that knows that you don’t want solutions, you want sympathy.