I, like many other Americans, probably more like 50% actually cause Beverly Hills Housewives was also on, tuned in to watch the State of The Union Address last night. This was Obama’s 7th SOTU and let’s all hope that it’s like Larry King’s marriages…8th times the charm. Sure, Obama’s a pretty good public speaker and addressed a lot of issues going on but he left a lot of questions unanswered.
For example, he said he will stop torture methods which, if this is true, why is Arianna Grande still playing on the radio? Another hot topic this year was Cuba but the people of America are still left wondering, did the desire to reenact Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights have anything to do with the decision to lift the embargo? On a scale of 1-10 how badly did Obama want to channel his inner Jack Nicholson when people claim he broke his campaign promise about closing Guantanamo Bay and scream, “You want the truth? you can’t handle the truth!” These are questions we may never get answers to.One thing people cannot criticize the President for is not being hip to the times, he proved this by citing the NY Times Best Seller, Divergent, in his speech…or did you miss the part about being sorted into factions?* Fingers crossed I’ll get Dauntless because at least there you get a hot, buff boyfriend within two weeks and get to wear all black. Obama also showed he really understands the plight of the American people, boy do I feel bad for poor Rebekah and Ben who have to forego vacations and a new car so they can save for retirement and pay off student loans. UH DUH OBAMA save now and benefit later is something we all learned at 9 years old when we played Life for the first time and ended up at Countryside Acres instead of Millionaire Estates…or is that $400,000 salary clouding your memory?
Were you getting nervous Obama was gonna avoid the ISIL issue? Me too, but he managed to squeeze in a minute and a half, phew that was a close one. Unfortunately he still thinks diplomacy is going to win out on that one. HELLOOO you’ve got a serious problem on your hands when even the Taliban doesn’t want to chill with them. He also discovered the best way to deal with climate change; initiate the name drop, “I know a lot of really good scientists at NASA and NOAA and at our major universities.” We get it, you’re reallllyyy popular (cue Bridesmaids jewelry store scene) and we should all buy Prius’s…maybe when gas is back above 2 dollars I’ll consider it.
One thing Obama made perfectly clear was his intent on using the veto when things aren’t going his way. Now this is something I can actually support…if the general public gets that option to. Oh, what’s that? Rent’s due today? Eh, not really something I’m interested in doing so I’m gonna veto rent this month. Sorry I’m not sorry. Obama mentioned a few times about life being “fair” for everyone so if the President has the veto the rest of us should too, after all it’s only fair.
The State Of The Union Address was like the 3rd Hangover movie, it had potential but when it was over we were all left wondering why we spent an hour watching it.
Footnotes:
*“Will we allow ourselves to be sorted into factions and turned against one another…”
And in case you didn’t understand the Bridesmaids reference…