If you aren’t one of the few people left in society that is pro-carb, pro-sugar, pro-calorie and don’t fully believe in the Kathy Wakile quote, “Sometimes I see really skinny girls. They may look great, but…they’re not happy. Have a cupcake,” Then just stop reading now and head to your local ice dispenser because let’s face it, that’s the only thing you’re eating.
ANYWAYS, growing up in New Jersey I’ve had the rare privilege of being able to experience some of the greatest food combinations the world has to offer. If you happen to be from any of the other 49 states I’d consider moving, after all, what’s high property taxes in the face of truly delicious food? Priorities people. First we have ziti pizza. Whoever said “life is full of choices” is just wrong. Now you can go to your local pizza shop and not have to worry about choosing between pizza and pasta, just get both. Ziti Pizza is the carbohydrate version of Tiger Woods’ bed…the more the merrier. Next we have the all wonderful bread bowl. It not only prevents you from getting bread shamed after asking for a 5th piece of bread to dunk in your soup but it also rewards carbohydrate loading because you just ate the dishes you were going to have to do tonight. Think of the possibilities: bread plates, bread forks, bread serving dishes…goodbye to dishes forever. Finally we have the king of breakfast sandwiches, the Pork Roll, Egg and Cheese. Not even Scientology has come up with a holistic cure for hangovers this good.Disclaimer: Binge eating these three foods may lead to diabetes, high cholesterol and obesity.