Now that I’ve started making millions as a professional blogger I have the money to go out and eat fairly often…just kidding I live at home with my parents so they pay for dinner when we go out. I’ve been able to notice the awkwardness that comes with leaving your house to eat. First we have people on a first date which is just about one of the most awkward things humans have to endure in the first place but to make it worse there’s that one person who is overly excited not to be stuck at home on Saturday night binge eating ramen noodles and watching re-runs of Gilmore Girls.
This is the girl who feels some strange need to hysterically laugh at everything he says….and not quietly either. Come on girl, let’s be real. He’s going to still pay for your dinner even if you don’t laugh when he asks if you like broccoli. It’s not just the people around you that make life awkward, it’s the waiters too. I’m not knocking waiters, I think they’re great but I’m just saying that when I ask you which dish you like better I wish you chose what I really wanted more often. Nothing says acca-awkard like the waiter telling you he recommends the ziti and then having to order the chicken parm.I don’t think I’d be doing this post justice if I didn’t mention the whole:
Waiter: Enjoy your dinner.
Me: Yeah, you too.
Thank you. The phrase you’re looking for is “Thank you.”