From an early age we’re constantly taught about what is appropriate to say and what you should keep to yourself. We’re taught that when a friend is wearing a black ruffle skirt with fishnets and black booties and asks you how they look you’re supposed to say “what other outfit options do you have?” instead of “oh dear lord are you blind?
” Unfortunately that was Pre-Grad, for us Post-Grads feelings are like job offers, nonexistent. I give you, the post-grad conversation.
“Congratulations on graduating!”
“Thanks.”
“So what are you doing now?”
Luring someone into a conversation with a compliment is like bringing up an awkward conversation topic while in the car, you give the other person no chance of escape.
“Just looking for a job now.”
“Yeah? What do you want to do?”
Asking someone at 22 what they want to do is just absurd. There’s a lot I want to do but for right now I just want to make enough money to be able to buy Splenda at the grocery store instead of stealing it from Starbucks. And if you make the mistake of actually confessing what it is you want to do, they’ll give you a list of 10 different reasons why you’re being unrealistic. I’m sorry? As I recall you asked for it. I know it’s hard to believe that someone may not want to have a job they hate but crazier things have happened, like the fact that someone let Rebecca Black make more than one song.
Then it’s the grand finale.
“Why don’t you go to grad school?”
OHHH Grad School? Why didn’t I think of that? Oh, probably because if I had $100,000 just laying around I wouldn’t be applying to be a hostess at California Pizza Kitchen and living in my childhood bedroom.
Talk about an expensive way to bide your post-grad time.
Here’s my advice to the previous generations who have clearly forgotten the jobs they were working right out of college: Think about it like political affairs, if anything interesting was happening, you would know.
